day 4

 Why do I remove things, plans, people out of my life- by volition, a better word- Ichha. 

Initially when it started happening, it felt difficult, confusing, its not as confusing right now. Why would I behave in this counter intuitive fashion, when all of human life is one big act of love and service shattered into a a million acts, a million breaths?

Yet I have responded and some times wilfully removed myself from people and situations. And it has been rather easy. I have not had people come back to me after their removal from my life, there has not been awkward situations, nothing major! 

It has created space, it has created emptiness, it has also created focus! Or rather birthed focus and attention on what is essential in this moment, to my Self, and thus the whole world. Thus the heart of the intention arrives at itself , of what it is truly capably of, of loving, of being true and free

formulation of tiny truths day 3

 I am more or less convinced that this is not going to go any where 

I stand on a mountain, fractured from all that is underneath

a forced breath, a tiny fork, a stray cat

anything can bring this down 

into the fractures, into the past deeds and misdeeds

I stand on a fractured mountain

I can't find any solace

except from the heat in the eyes

tears still flow

land has not collapsed,

not yet

I stand

on a fractured mountain

I am not sure

about what lies beneath

is it past, present, or future

a breath, a dragon fly, a curious finger

anything can bring this down

I hold my spleen in right place

stand on a fractured mountain

formulation of tiny truths day 2

 If you could keep silence in a vital part of the conversation and listen deep into the liminal spaces between the words heard and meanings made, you will become more and more familiar with the unfamiliar. You would have communicated without needing much more than what you would have in that very moment. In the liminality you may perhaps understand to live through the animal of your body, to live in the wordless divine. 

formulations of tiny truths till now page 1

 I have been experiencing set backs in connecting with people in the same way I had trained my self to be in the world. When I write this I do not want to say it is either good or bad. M wants me to attend/be a part of a residency she is planning. I haven't told her this, but what I really want to say and tried telling her is , can you tell me, what service can I be of to you or the event, so that I can agree or disagree. She asks me to come and sleep there. Now I am at a place where the dots connect back to posterity in a thousand memories, like the moment of GERD I am having, undigested, unassimilated life experiences, my resistances to either accepting, taking in the lesson, discarding it, or totally discarding it out of my system. Like you get a letter not addressed to you. You don't worry about it, since it is not addressed to you! The good thing about this moment is, I SEE this happening, there is GRACE, Baba's GRACE. My tiny truth is yes, I am supported, hence I develop in this moment to accept the grace, be grateful for it, while acknowledging the fretful nature of how dots may or may not connect. Yet another epiphany is that we meet people outside of our selves in families and communities we co-habit and in-habit, through our actions (based on the idea of actions are cognisable) where we are driven by our conditionings of our imperfections and separation. I have noticed that each time one is able to see what is happening and listen ardently to it, the separation of known and knowable vanishes in the physical experience of it. When the attention and seeing continue to happen over and over again, it fosters presence, awareness of presence. By GRACE you shall have more moments of this dissolution and you become aware of this single pointed attention that is your true self. Thus I see that the truth is not bared through language or constructs of language, it is hidden in its grammar, the momentary truths at the very least can be found and can be released if we understand grammar.