I miss you 

It was yesterday 

walking back 

late into the night 

with a rain drizzling 

with a dark blue shawl around me

walking into the night 

i thought i saw you 

sitting on the side walk 

a glance and you were gone 

I missed you then 

not in the way one misses something you crave for 

but in a way one looses one’s arm 

or a leg may be, 

or a part of you 

I missed you and I cried 

Later mom asked me, 

if it is the rain that choked my voice 

if it is the rain that gave me the cold 

No, I did not bring your name into the conversation

it was still raining outside 

I imagined you 

There was no point in imagining 

You are gone, truly gone 

I missed you again then

And I asked for relief

relief from this pain I have been carrying in me all these months

relief from the words unspoken

relief from the tears unshed 

I prayed that I could bury you 

with this missing 

like I will learn to live without a part of me 

i nearly hear you say, 

life goes on 

As I write these lines, 

Pain is lesser than yesterday,

Did I tell you, I slept better than all these months

all these years

Coming back, I have to confess,

I looked at your picture

And I found this out

My missing you had nothing to do with the living 

It is all got to do with the dead 

with the gone 

I seem to have a buried you partially 

I am addressing you from the past from here and now 

I miss you still 

allow me leave you for now

I have reached the end of lines 

I will close with this one last time here "I miss you"

I miss you.. 

Like an amputee remembering the shape of the arm or the tiny finger on the feet, lost, gone, 

Like the childhood river and its company, flown past, invisible, unidentifiable, non-existent,

Like the monsoon which came on time,some time back, 

Like I would never have imagined how missing could be..

I miss you